Well Fuck that now with new comic page

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Galaxy Magnolia Book 1 Page 26 Ming Vase by Axolotl-mafia I followed their advice.

 

 

 

Bitch mode ON. The fuck I have to explain myself. Just holy shit seriously what the fuck.

 

......

I took a few days to think on this, trying to figure out if I should write all this all out publicly or not. Then I basically told myself, fuck it. I have a right to express myself publicly on a social media website (DA) at my own discretion on an account that I PAY for, and I have a right to stand up for my work. I really do not care if people react positively or negatively about this because I am reacting negatively to what happened to me -personally and I've had enough. I have enough stress that I don't need this shit on top of everything else and I don't even NEED to explain myself, especially when I continue work so hard on my massive graphic novel project through my pregnancy.

I am suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum - pregnancy.about.com/cs/morning… 

and physical issues with my pelvic concerning my pregnancy that make life incredibly painful, on top of needing surgery that has to wait until after I give birth to remove a painful tumor. My Hyperemesis Gravidarumas isn't as intense as described in this article but pretty damn close. I am taking physical therapy for my pelvic pain which I am trying to heal so  that it doesn't get to like what I dealt with my first pregnancy. The physical therapy HURTS and  that pain causes me anxiety and stress. I am extremely short person, only five foot tall and have trouble carrying babies. I am scheduled to have a C-section in the Summer because of various  health issues/surgery. My husbands aunt that I am close to just had cancer surgery -talk about a whirlwind of FEAR and stress and concern all smacking me in the fact at the same time. One of my cats died, and now my eldest elderly cat may be diabetic and that is intensely stressing for me. I have a little girl who we are teaching through home schooling to be a polyglot. That means she speaks more than two languages. She is learning five and it takes a lot of concentration to educate her. I'll just say this, I NEVER run out of anything to do and I never stop and I NEVER to not put my best foot forward  into something and yet for some reason.... Something went critically wrong somewhere in the last week, and maybe, just maybe I've snapped from the stress. I am completely pissed off right now and have been since last night.  

God damn it do I REALLY need to explain all this!? I am NOT trying to get sympathy, I get by JUST fine and I have been. I am TRYING to explain that I cannot handle ridiculous people trying to stir up shit for arrogant reasons on TOP of all these major things that are involved in my life right now. And through it all, I still manage to give a fully colored, fully rendered Galaxy Magnolia Page about every week to every other week because I CHOOSE to upload them, because  I have CHOSEN not to give up regardless of all the trouble in my life happening. I don't have to do that. I can just simply make the pages and go on to publish if I didn't want any sort of feedback or critique or anything or to completely avoid stress or better yet, not get anywhere with my paperback. It's unrealistic to think I won't deal with stress or harsh criticism here, that is NOT what I am getting at. I am so frustrated right now I don't know if I can even properly construe this.  

I really want this to look back on this journal later and remember everything, and to see if I was just being a ridiculous asshole or absolutely right to feel the way I do. Learning experience all around and I figured, bring it to a place that I pay for, where I can keep track of it because THIS is where the majority of the shit is happening. This shit has to stop. No one knows what I deal with in the reality outside the internet concerning incredibly harsh criticism concerning Galaxy Magnolia EITHER on a regular basis from family, from people I know, from a small town perspective (holy shit my town has like only 5,000 people in it.). I have no control over how people will treat my work in the real world, and I won't have control over it here either and I have absolutely no intention to control it and have no right to control how people feel -but I do have a right to explain myself. All I am going to do is aim to defend what I know I am trying to accomplish and that's all I have to go on. People can take it how they want it's not up to ME what happens after that. At least I know what I tried to do. I know myself well enough. I am extremely depressed and pissed off about this and honestly it has critically, critically damaged me -and as I said, probably because of all the horrible stuff that has happened in my personal life lately and so much if it is so deeply personal that I won't even MENTION it here, but that doesn't even cover the tip of the horn concerning all that. I will recover from what I am enduring, but that doesn't mean that it hasn't damaged me or that I can't TRY to make it better.

 

So I'll start  first  by protecting what I know I've done, and protecting my goal in mine. I can start with that. I worked so hard on it I won't let it just be walked over.

Two… No… FOUR people this week , this week ALONE (two on DA two people I know in person and don’t normally talk to but decided they were going to put me in my place) have come out of the woodwork like roaches, people who knew nothing of my work or who I am or my goals in mind  that took ten minutes to read my comic from page 1 to 25 and passed this intensely confusing judgment on the storyline, or tried to tell me how the storyline should be according to what THEY like. Thanks, especially when I’m only 25 pages IN, where the story has barely gotten started. So what happened to it being my story and not yours? What happened to you giving a story a chance before deciding you know EVERYTHING about it, or without even knowing a single character or a name or anything. Clear they didn’t bother to look in my gallery to do some research, or in the case of all four different people, didn’t even bother to read the comic AT ALL before proceeding to pass what they referred to as –critique. Don't sit there and tell me you read it when you CLEARLY did not I won't buy that.

You know nothing of my work so who are you to come out of nowhere and assume so much and take such an attitude when I took the time to explain myself appropriately and guide you on how to get to know the story? In all of my years of being here on DA, I never realized that some people here were honestly that arrogant or careless, or inconsiderate to other artists, considering that the people who came out of the woodwork to judge my personal project draw mostly My little Pony, fan artwork to some game, or make very quick doodles of furry adoptables to sell for DA points. Honestly? This is the shit I have to deal with? I never encountered people so vastly ridiculous when it comes to passing what they think is critique in my life oh, except really conservative older people off of DA who don’t like to paint, who don’t understand comics or fully believe you are Satan because you are drawing blue skinned people with devil tails.

Some of these people however that I am specifically referring to concerning their marvelous critiquing skills have been on DA for years. Excuse me. You should know how it works here, SO WHY ARE YOU ACTING NEW.

–one person in particular took one of my other images unrelated to the comic without my permission ( a shitty doodle that I put no effort into) drew all over it and proceeded to tell me how to do things with the graphic novel without even knowing ANYTHING about the comic or its history. Thanks, I saved the  image. I'll use it as a reminder.

I realized, about an hour after replying to this person that they hadn’t actually taken the time to read a page of my comic, otherwise they wouldnot have used such an unrelated pointless doodle of mine to illustrate any sort of point to the validity of what the conversation was pertaining to in the first place.  I kept asking myself why would you use THAT image? Why not illustrate your point with one of my graphic novel pages which was in regards precisely to the discussion we were having? Why did you basically ruin one of my images … Oh…. Wait…. I  see. Because you DIDN’T even READ my comic –typical of the  kind of people I deal with before passing judgment on it (not the same as critique)- and you were simply looking for an opportunity to tell me how wrong I was on so many levels vs actually helping me, because you got offended when I posted a comic guide. Wow…You didn’t like that, but you didn’t read the comic. Great logic there.  You tried very hard to pretty much tell me how wrong I am about everything refusing to even accept any of my explanations. Nice try, I’m not stupid, I see what you’re  trying to do here.  

 

Most people here that generally give critique, or that I have encountered, do it quite well getting the point across and always have good intentions behind it. On the other hand, I've noticed some other people here like to “critique” things they know nothing about and like to try to come off as experts without even knowing anything about what they are “critiquing”. That’s not critique. That’s just arrogance. Good job, try starting with the comic FIRST.

 Here’s how it fucking works:

Want to critique the comic? Want to be harsh with your feedback to discipline me into a proper comic artist? GOOD!  READ THE COMIC FIRST THEN!

DO NOT DRAW ON MY IMAGES AND CUT THEM APART WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST TO ILLUSTRATE YOUR POINTS TO SOMETHING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SPECIFIC AND OTHERWISE TOTALLY UNRELATED. I have NO PROBLEM with people redlining my work to guide me if they ask me first and it’s directly related to the help I need. How dare you do that to my artwork WHO does that without permission except an arrogant and possibly very bored  person trying to stir up drama? Want to be a know it all and whip me into comic shape? GOOD. *Gets on drill boots* I’m ready, but you better be able to back up PROPERLY what you are trying to illustrate without the use of “ unrelated props” or grasping for straws.

WOW and it is SO AMAZING how many people on this website turn into nit pickers and bullies when you try to defend your work with a very carefully written explanation –even though you are trying your BEST to understand  their critique, or try to work it in somehow into your work, especially if you cannot construe properly what they wrote, because  they used buzz words and completely reject pros to explain everything. 

Art bullies are people who have no real intention to critique your work in order to provide legitimate help, working with you etc, but rather just try and tell you how wrong you are and get offended if you try to explain yourself, or proceed to point out other things they find wrong. I call this Atlas shrugging syndrome. These people are easy to pick out because any person with common sense and legitimate concern for your talent in the art world knows that both parties must understand one another and discuss in order to virtually improve a particular area. That is the POINT of critique. It cannot possibly be one sided UNLESS, an artist doesn’t ask for critique, didn’t ask for feedback (some artists just want to share their word, not EVERY piece has to be critiqued and that’s OKAY!) and a person comes out of the woodwork and passes intense judgment. THAT makes it one sided. One sided can be good or bad, depends on the sending parties  intentions. It is not up to how the receiving party receives it. They did not ask for suggestions.

Who are you to come out of the woodwork with bad intentions towards any other person. You know yourself well enough, you know if your method of feedback is going to have good or bad intentions behind it why would you want to apply any sort of bad intention? That doesn’t make the artist close minded if they can figure that out right away and call you out on it. That makes you selfish and inconsiderate to the artists feelings for trying to enforce it, when that artist just simply wanted to share their work with others. It’s OKAY to critique pieces as well not asking for critique, but you better be absolutely sure that the artist knows that you are also pointing  out the positive things of the artwork as well and be as polite as you can be –because you don’t know  if they wanted critique or not. Actually it’s just best to ask first. You are on their property after all. That’s like if you see a lawn of fresh grass and you want to walk on it. Would you just walk on it without talking to the owner of the property first, or would you politely ask if it’s alright to tread? That’s fair isn’t it? Some people just don't want the grass they worked so hard to plant and trim and make nice (and paid for) to be walked over, but I guess if they don't let others just walk over it  at every will, they're close minded -according to some.

Art Bullies are people who: Do not want you to deem critique fair or unfair (even though that is also part of DA’s policy because DA staff are smart enough to know it’s within an artist’s rights), or will not tolerate you to explain things, or tolerate you logically defend your work –no matter how polite you were trying to be. They want you to roll over and accept whatever they tell you. So is that REALLY help then?

Art Bullies claiming themselves to be true fellow artists: don’t you DARE defend what you’ve worked so hard on, I am going to tell you how it is, and you’re going to accept it! –In a nutshell basically. That is the approach they seem to be alluding to.

Well… As I see it, a true fellow artist would be willing to work with you and try to see it from your point as well as theirs, and offer as precise and to the point critique (harsh or not, yes harsh critique is character building as well harsh is NOT the same as insulting unless insulting is intended) without grasping for straws (pulling shit out of their ass to explain themselves or get their point across) or without having to turn to other completely unrelated sources to explain a point in regards  to one thing in your gallery that you are specifically asking for help on. Maybe I am COMPLETELY WRONG but that doesn’t mean it’s still RIGHT to enforce anything on anyone else they are not ready or comfortable to handle, and then taking an attitude about it. 

Art Bullies are people who also hate it when you:

politely explain yourself when they don’t understand something about your comic i.e person blatantly and ignorantly assuming your entire storyline from 25 pages alone into the comic containing possibly 500 or more uncompleted pages without even being able to name characters/refer to characters by name, or by proceeding to tell you that backgrounds are unimportant –because that’s the way they see it and how wrong am you if you disagree –to your particular comic. Or gosh, and wow, they can’t even tell if a character is male or female (RUGA, flat chested MALE), because they are too lazy to read dialogue where everyone is referring to him as a BOY. They are just so EAGER to tell you how wrong you are or assume vs. actually knowing anything about what they are trying to “critique”. How delightfully obnoxious.  

Oh the backgrounds. Holy shit, why the fuck do people think that backgrounds aren’t important to a FULLY COLORED FULLY RENDERED COMIC and then proceed to tell me that I am WRONG for trying to work with the background to illustrate the dialogue bubbles. This  is a VERY difficult learning process I am trying really hard to learn how to do everything properly. Four people this week have told me these exact sentiments –three of those people do not make comics, draw every now and then as a hobby. The other, draws comics and is a rather talented, but cynical (for some reason or another) artist. Everyone else I deal with on a regular basis? People who don't know anything ABOUT comics or art in general and just want to tell you how to do things.

I will be completely straight forward. I don’t give a FUCK if you think backgrounds aren’t important in a comic! That is YOUR personal taste, NOT critique, and ESPECIALLY if you are a fellow artist who DRAWS  full color comics. WHY AREY YOU DRAWING FULL COLOR COMICS if you aren’t going to focus on or value backgrounds beyond “props” or “settings” rather than important to story progression. Stick to black and white comics, you’re wasting valuable time.

Hey fellow comic artist passing random judgment on my comic:  Is it MY fault that you don’t want to spend an equal amount of time on the background in your comic world as you would illustrating interaction, emotion, color etc in it? Excuse me for being a bitch. So in order to prove in your way that I am wrong for feeling differently concerning the importance of background, you make up excuses as to why background work SHOULD fall short of everything else? Sorry that backgrounds are so invaluable to you, or that you don’t have enough imagination to see them as anything beyond “prop settings”. Yeah I really am a bitch I guess, because I don’t see backgrounds like that. They are as important to me as the characters themselves.  I will not conduct my story to fit your personal tastes.  

Or could it just be, that you DO have the skill and imagination to illustrate intense detail into the backgrounds and may even have the energy to do so (since you chose full color to begin with). However, maybe because you want to rush through your comic to gain watchers etc or a following or aren’t as devoted to it with your skill as you COULD  be to take the time to render full color backgrounds and full perspective with characters and character interactions you try to justify and rationalize your opinion as critique. Sorry, that isn’t critique. Try again. If you are going to make a comic, why not put love into it? It is NOT about page views or how many views you get on a comic. It’s about you taking the time to do your very best to illustrate a story to share with others –for free and the more heart you put into it, the more people will like to tune in. You don’t HAVE to choose to share it with anyone. You choose to share it because it makes you happy. You choose to take time on each page, because you love your work  and are devoted to it.

 
In a fully rendered and fully colored comic EVERYTHING is important. Dialogue, bubbles style, bubble flow artist individuality, full colored characters, fully colored backgrounds. They aren't' all easy to work with! Especially if you are just one  person and not a team of people working on all that. I am choosing not to upload WIPs of the pages to avoid spoilers and  I will not. If  there are problems  reading dialogue flow or whatever on a finished page, please  tell me! Make a suggest in regards to that particular page on what you think I could to fix it -be precise, and I will -and I promise- go back and fix it when I can find  the time to. All I can do right now is move forward and continue to make more pages before the baby comes.

It’s especially FRUSTRATING that I have explained over and over again to so many people that the backgrounds ARE important in my comic world to ME and then continue to argue how WRONG I am for feeling this way, or focusing so much attention on such details. There again, you know NOTHING of my head world or what I am trying to illustrate if you can even barrage  me with such arrogance. You are so focused on telling me I am wrong you refuse to try and see what I am trying to accomplish. This is what I get for asking for help? –on something else entirely related to improving my comic? Gee, poor Picasso and Van Goh, they had to handle trolls like this rather insanely all the freaking time but oh gosh they got somewhere didn’t they, because they didn’t give a SHIT what other people thought was important or not about their work and only took the critique seriously from others that they could TELL were trying to help them regardless of how harsh it may have been. Me? I had four people just in the last week alone tell me my backgrounds are unimportant even though I know otherwise –simply because they feel so. Thanks. I deal with art thieves, naysayers and people comparing my work to Avatar every week. That’s already enough to keep me virtually away from social media websites except  for the times I typically post pages hereon DA, facebook and FA. No I don't need a Weasel or whatever I don't give a shit. I'm a recluse.  

OH this is nice - www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSJg9a…

Particle Man: Oh sir, I have free cake for everyone here, would you like some?

Triangle Man: Why yes I would. Thanks.

*Triangle man Takes  cake, throws  it back  in the face of cake giver*

Particle Man: Why did you do that!?

Triangle Man: Because you gave me free cake. Doesn’t that justify whatever the fuck I want to do with it then?

Particle Man But I worked so hard on that cake.

Triangle Man: So?

Particle Man: But I worked so hard on that cake.

Triangle Man: You said that already.

Particle Man: ….So… I shouldn’t have given you the free cake then.

Triangle Man: Pretty much –because I don’t know what to maturely do with it derp.

Particle Man: You uh… You are supposed to eat it, or you can give  it to someone else, or how about just ignoring it. It was  free –and YOU chose to take it. Now I can’t give that piece to someone else that may have wanted or needed it.

Triangle Man: What’s your point?

Particle Man: ………Holy shit.

So sorry that you have to feel backgrounds aren’t important in my fully colored comic simply because you want to be right. I won’t be focusing less on the backgrounds for you,  I  won’t be changing my STORY for you and golly, you didn’t read my comic or give it any real chance (I’m 25 pages in and still learning, it’s still a BABY)  so how can you even know anything about how important the background work is to my world =). *Flutters eyelashes* Oh shit, you sure showed me. Illustrating that part of the story that takes place on Earth in the FUTURE after mankind has long abandoned  the planet, only to rediscover it -covered in alien influence with highly detailed flora and fauna or Denver Colorado being overtaken by an ice desert aren’t important at all you are so RIGHT! Maybe the readers can just FIGURE ALL THAT OUT on their own from blobs of color and a little bit of text, because never MIND the fact I have some skill at least (and I know I have it I am allowed to recognize this) to draw a wide variation of different colorful shit. Or gosh maybe, I could take it a step further and draw everything as simple as possible using stick drawing configurations and put absolutely no effort into it even though I could potentially challenge myself to do otherwise –so my comic looks as lame as possible, or garden variety in every sort of way! So it won’t sell well on the shelves when it’s gone to paperback.

From now on Galaxy Magnolia graphic novel will proceed as stick figures with MS Paint tool blobs of color paint without the use of a tablet. HOPE IT DOES WELL WISH ME LUCK.

I really should make a live video of myself crying with eye makeup running all over myself shouting out under a bed sheet “LEAVE GALAXY MAGNOLIA ALONE IT’S A PERFECT PERSON. YOU LEAVE IT ALOOOOONE! LEAVEI T ALOOONE”. *intense sobbing*

Galaxy Magnolia could always use more roasting and satire.

Telling me that I need to rearrange bubbles for easier dialogue flow and reading is not the same as telling me backgrounds are unimportant  (One is helpful, the other is stupid), so really you must be just looking for a reason to tear the backgrounds apart.  I asked for critique here. What went horribly wrong?

 Four people this week alone have told me how important the background are I am becoming so redundant and yet I am still so frustrated.  Four. Just this week it’s getting so overwhelming especially with everything I know I must do. Alright. I guess they must be right then. I guess it’s NOT okay for me to do that if four people all tell me the same thing based on their personal taste.

 

I am perfectly willing and trying to find the time to go back to edit dialogue bubbles for easier comic flow –without  impending the background. I won’t sacrifice my backgrounds however. I will try not to sacrifice bubbles for background. All I can do is try.

To everyone else who have regularly tuned in to Galaxy Magnolia and have given me your feedback on how to improve/or arrange dialogue bubbles for reading flow or panel lines , anatomy etc.  and were straight forward, kind and honest with your help (pros and cons both remarked upon to help me, some harsh with good reason and I could totally see you were being helpful) I greatly admire and appreciate you. A great deal of you have been there since this  project started. Many of you  just saw an image and got involved from there, wanting  to know more about the story,  helping me to improve or just offering support. Thank you for taking the time to know SOMETHING about my comic before you passed judgment over it on the pages or assuming I’m doing everything wrong because I made a comic guide or because I paint full backgrounds, or what to make the backgrounds  important as well. Thank you to those who gave me harsh, but absolutely positively intended genuine critique to help me improve my comic making skills and art or writing in general. You have helped me find the courage to ease more and more into the critique world, into sharing what I’ve created, to explore more opportunities  for improvement and for giving me direction on what I could not see with my lack of experience. I feel like crying now, but happy tears of relief. I cannot believe how many people have been absolutely awesome with their help and kindness,  and harshness with good intention in giving different styles of support to Galaxy Magnolia.

I never thought for one instance when I began to post GM that I would ever receive so much support. All I figured was that I would share my head world because  it makes me happy to do so and whatever happens, happens because I just wanted to share a story. I want my comic to inspire and encourage people not to give up, no matter how harsh others might be  towards  their work or how much critique they might receive. Take it to heart, not to your mind, use it to apply soul to your work (follow your own advice here too Rheann). Your story will never be told unless you take the initiative. Be as Van Gogh or Picasso. Be as you as well, you know where you are going.

No person, especially a fellow artist should ever make it their goal to rip apart someone’s work or tell them how they should paint because they don’t particularly have the taste for it. That is not the same as critique. That is not the same as helping. That is not what they teach you in art schools. That is not what art society depends on. You will find that kind of loathing happening if other people are pissed off you are willing to work hard  on your project, or have a project to call your own (not something fan based), or you see that kind of thing happening you are trying to make it BIG competing aggressively with other artists. For example, where your art is a sport rather than an expression of your soul. Another example of that is Runway where clothing artists viciously compete against one another to show their work and deal with the most intense feedback possible  –and where beautiful model suffer and must starve themselves and be cruel to one another and  themselves in order to succeed, in order to be the top model to wear the artists clothing on the runway so it will sell well, so everyone makes money and a face. It all became so vicious and competitive -rather than focusing on heat and soul and the ability to express art without too much concern for what others think.

 

Think whatever you want of me, do as you please. By the way, would you like a piece of cake?

 

© 2014 - 2024 Axolotl-mafia
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Uluri's avatar
Holy butt, People were saying such things to you? D:
You're pages are awesome. You are one of my inspiratoins.
(25 pages is SOOO not enough to explain a storyline. I haven't even gotten around to it yet in my own.)
BACKGROUNDS ARE IMPORTANT, and they're a whole bunch of work!
It tell readers where the characters are located, how they're reacting to places,
and why they just got hit in the head with a frikken Stalagmite.
How would Someone know if they were in a cave if One never drew a Cave? (<-- example)

You put so much work into your art. It really amazes me. It is so vivid.